the bloody truth

Here's a random fact about me: I don't like having sex when I'm on my period.

If you're a guy (or even a gal) who gets squeamish about this topic, escape while you still can. I don't mean to gross anyone out. I'm just thinking out loud.

If you're still with me, there's a reason I mention this. The other night my lover wanted to get frisky and I told him that I'm on my period. He pointed out that we can always use a towel. Yes, I suppose we could. I have had sex on my period before and I feel ambivalent about it.

Pro: it feels great. When Aunt Flo is around, my hormones are crazy and I really want sex. I've heard that sex helps with the cramps, and I think there's some truth in that.

Con: it's so goddamn messy. I know that most guys don't mind the mess. Fortunately my partner is a mature guy who won't say "ew" when he sees a drop of blood. He doesn't mind the clean up, but I feel like it ruins the mood. We both run to the bathroom to clean up. Then I have to make sure there aren't any wayward spots on the bed.

It's not the yuck factor that bothers me. It's the clean up. It's such a hassle that I don't like to bother.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm being a prude about it. Maybe I should just follow my lust and not worry about the cleaning factor. Sex is great no matter what. Should a little blood get in the way of pleasure?

Avoiding the shark-infested waters

While browsing writers' forums and blogs, I often read about publishing horror stories. The shady publishers, scam agents, deadbeats, cheats, and the other bottom feeders of the publishing world. I read these tales of woe, and I count my blessings. I've been a freelance writer for about two years, and I haven't experienced any of the nightmares that other young and beginnning writers go through. *knock on wood*

To date, there has been one publisher who has draaaaaaagged his/her feet on payment. I still haven't received full payment, but I'm optimistic. I still give them the benefit of the doubt. With that exception, my experiences with publishers have been top-notch.

I guess you can say I've been lucky so far. I know the scam artists and deadbeats are out there, and I'm doing my best to stay away from them. To avoid the scams, I follow a few simple rules:

* If the writing gig looks too good to be true, it probably is.
* Always get the contract in writing. Even an email agreement is better than nothing.
* Trust your instincts. If something smells fishy, watch out.
* Show professional courtesy at all times - the golden rule is a simple rule to follow.
* Never burn bridges until it gets to the point that you need to blow up the bridge.

These guidelines have worked well for me. I'm cynical in the first place, so my warning flags are hyper-sensitive. I'm willing to walk away from a gig if something doesn't feel right.

Of course I'm not just patting myself on the back. I've been truly fortunate to have worked with awesome editors and publishers. With the exception mentioned above, I have always received timely payment. I get positive feedback when I do well, and I get constructive feedback when I need to work on something. The publishing world is filled with a few predators here and there. For the most part, I have stayed away from the shark-infested waters. So far it's been a good ride, and I'm optimistic about the future. As the cliche goes, there's nowhere to go but up.

Auto-erotic

*adult content*

This weekend I was hit with the double whammy. I was still fighting a cold, and I was on my period. As a result, I was fatigued and my sex drive was way down. Sometimes I don't mind having sex during my period, but this weekend I wasn't in the mood. It tells you how bad I was feeling, because I am almost always in the mood for loving.

My guy was very understanding. I said we could fool around for a bit, but I couldn't kiss him. I didn't want to get him sick, too. After a bit of caressing and touching, I asked him if he wanted a blowjob. He said he wanted to wait until I was feeling better. Then he asked me if I wanted to watch him jerk off. I've never seen him masturbate before, and of course I said yes.

He got comfortable on the bed, and I stretched out next to him. He took off his shorts, and he started to stroke himself. I noticed how he touched himself, how he was almost rough with his cock. When I touch him, I stroke him with slow motions. He jerked himself with quick movements. He wanted me to talk dirty into his ear, but I was too distracted by watching. Instead I nibbled on his earlobe as he worked his cock.

It was the first time I ever concentrated only on him. He wasn't touching me, and I wasn't touching myself. All my energies were on the way his hand touched his cock. I could feel myself getting more and more aroused as I watched him. I caressed his thigh a little, but I didn't do much else. I wanted him to be completely comfortable with his motions. It was like I was watching him at his most intimate moment.

His breathing changed, and his cock got rock-hard. I knew he was getting close, and I found myself holding my breath. His hand movements remained in that steady beat, and I watched hi shaft become even more swollen. He didn't tell me he was going to come, but I was prepared for the moment. His cock spasmed in his hand, and he caught his come in a tissue. A few drops lingered on his tip and I helped him clean up. He asked if I enjoyed it. It was such an erotic experience. I loved watching his face and how his expression changed when he was close.

I know I'm going to fantasize about that moment. As soon as I'm better, I want a repeat experience. This time I want us to watch each other.

My sex life is boring

well, let me take that back...my sex life is really fantastic at the moment. My guy is the most generous lover I've ever met, and we've been tearing up the sheets on a regular basis. I'm getting great, toe-curling, mattress-grabbing, knees-wobbling sex. I do believe I've hit my sexual peak...

What I mean to say is that my sex life is too boring for a sex blog. Technically this isn't a sex blog, and I'm not a sex blogger. Technically. I'm an erotica writer, and I use this blog to post my writings and give you a glimpse into the daily grind.

Sometimes I find myself comparing my blog to all the adult/erotic blogs out there. There are tons of sex bloggers out there, and it seems like they're all leading such interesting lives. I bounce from blog to blog and I see writings from swingers, escorts, former sex-workers, professional dommes, bi-sexuals, D/s couples, etc.

And here I am...a straight woman who is mostly vanilla with a splash of kink. In comparison my blog seems so blah. Ho-hum. A few erotic stories here and there, but my personal posts seem so bland.

Then I have to remind myself...hey, I'm not a sex blogger. I'm not going to pretend to be something I'm not. I have to resist the temptation to spice up my personal posts. I've never been in a threesome and I probably never will. I've never worked as an escort, never went to a sex club, never had sex with more than one person at a time. If you met me, you wouldn't really think I was a smut writer.

This blog won't get as many posts as the popular adult blogs, but I'm okay with that. I think I'm okay with that. Don't get me wrong...I would like to be one of those bloggers who gets thousands of hits per day. But this isn't a sex blog. It's a blog by an erotica writer who enjoys sex. I'm going to try to balance the smutty posts with the non-smutty personal posts. As the kids say, I want to keep it real. This is me...sexual, a little shy, a little kinky, made up of many layers.

Never kissed a girl

This weekend I went to a huge music festival in downtown LA. Lots of great dj's in an ultra-crowded venue. Plenty of eye candy and plenty of oglers.

I was with my lover and a few friends. As we were standing around, a cute girl walked by us. She was probably in her 20s, pretty face, slim, revealing outfit...basically every straight guy's fantasy. She looked at me and smiled. The smile lingered and she slid her hand up my bare arm. She gave me an obvious come-hither look, and I gave her a polite smile in return. I stepped aside to let her walk by and the moment passed.

My guy and his male friend looked so utterly disappointed. I'm sure they thought she was going to kiss me. Actually I thought so, too. She seemed interested, but I didn't give her an opening. I saw a lot of strangers kissing other strangers that night. My guy said if I wanted to kiss another girl, it was okay with him. I said I was sorry to ruin his lesbian fantasy, but it wasn't going to happen.

He implied I was a prude, and I took a moment to tell him how I feel. I'm very comfortable with my sexuality, and I know myself. I've had moments of curiosity about women, but I've never been attracted to a woman. Not enough to initiate physical contact. If I'm not attracted to a woman, I'm not going to kiss one. It's a simple concept, and I don't feel it's a reflection of prudishness.

I don't have a problem with straight women who experiment with their sexuality. More power to them. I do have a problem with straight women who experiment only to fulfill a boyfriend's fantasy. They kiss another woman to titillate their male counterparts. That's not me. I'm not going to change my sexual identity to please my man. I'm willing to compromise on certain things, but that's not one of them. I'm not homophobic; I'm just attracted to men (despite their flaws).

I told him how I felt, but he understood. He said a part of him was glad that I didn't. Now he knows that I'm not going to make out with some random stranger (male or female). I may be the only female I know who has never kissed a girl. A few of my friends have shared drunken kisses in the past. That's not me, and I don't feel like I'm missing out.

Kissing styles

I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I think I'm a great kisser. Or at least that's what I've been told. I've also been lucky to have experienced great kissers. One guy was so good that I wanted to kiss him for hours. The sex was good, but it was the kissing that got me worked up. His lips and tongue fit mine perfectly.

I know that we have all have unique kissing styles. I've been involved with a guy with a kissing style that's completely opposite of mine. The first time we kissed, I thought: "what the hell is he doing?!" The funny thing is that he later told me he had the same reaction.

When I kiss, it's mostly lips with the occasional tease of the tongue. I tend to be a "sucker": I like to suck on the upper lip, the lower lip, the tongue. My kisses tend to be teasing with gentle sucking of the lips.

On the other hand, my lover licks to kiss with his tongue. He likes to lick my entire lips while kissing. His favorite thing is to twirl his tongue around mine like two snakes tangled together. I haven't been able to master that technique yet. I'm not much of a tongue-kisser. I'm more of a lips-kisser.

So far we haven't been able to reach a happy medium. Sometimes we kiss "my way" and sometimes we kiss "his way." I still haven't gotten used to his kissing style, but he has adjusted to mine. Eventually we'll figure out a kissing style that satisfies us both. I'll have to add a new kissing style to my repertoire. I'm working on it.

Favorite Part #1

The Ear

I love sucking on his ears
while we fuck.
I recently discovered how erotic
an earlobe can be.
When I'm grinding on top of him,
I lean down to whisper
dirty nothings in his ear.
My lips brush against his earlobe,
and I suck it between my lips.
Gently at first.
Biting down with my front teeth
until he's squirming.

Biting harder.
Pulling with my teeth.
Licking the edge of it
as I press my moans against him.
I know the vibrations of my mouth
echo throughout his body.
When it gets too much for him,
I move my mouth to the other side.

I love when he tongues
the edge of my ear.
His mouth moving up and down,
tongue flicking, swirling.
His groans sound so loud.
I call them yummy noises
like he's about to devour me.
I turn my head so he can
taste the other one.

Kis Lee 2007

On writing dirty

From The Blushing Ladies Journal:

Many folks think erotica is just another word for 'dirty stories' and therefore miss out on other erotic possibilities in their relationships... So I asked author Kis Lee to describe what things she believes are essential to an erotic story, what makes it 'erotic' rather than just 'dirty,' and what those things mean as far as possibilities in your sex life.

For a while, the headline for my Myspace profile said: "I write dirty words for a living." It wasn't meant to be cheeky. I just like using the word "dirty." (My current headline simply says "smutty.") I see an overlap between "erotic" and "dirty." I don't see anything wrong with writing dirty stories. In my own writing, I don't think about the distinction between the two...

Read the rest of my answer HERE.

more keyword analysis

A while back I wrote a story based on my statcounter info: keyword erotica.

I decided to take a look at my keyword info and I found this:

"i love it when my boyfriend fondles my bare boobs"

YES!! I do! How did you know?

Sorry if I got a little excited for a moment. Like every woman, I LOVE foreplay. To me, foreplay is much more than touching me to see if I'm wet. (Yes, some men think that counts as foreplay.) Foreplay is about kissing, stroking, caressing, and massaging. When done properly, foreplay can be as enjoyabe as fucking.

My very favorite part of foreplay is when a man plays with my breasts. I have really sensitive breasts and nipples. I love any kind of contact with them. I love when my nipples are sucked and teased. I love when a man pushes my breasts together and kisses them all over. I love when my nipples are pinched. I love when a man nibbles around the nipple area. I love when a man sucks one nipple while massaging the other. Double action is always fun.

I especially love "boob guys." Some men like legs, some likes butts. I'm fond of a man who pays attention to my "girls." It's one of my favorite activities ever.

To the person who found my blog through that phrase: I hope that you were able to find a guy who appreciates your breasts. If you're a guy, then I'm happy that there are guys like you out there. Breasts are sensitive areas. Don't ignore them. Worship them and she'll return the favor. Trust me on that one.

5:30 AM

After a late night, I took a quick shower and plopped into bed. I must have knocked out for a few minutes, because I didn't hear him take a shower.

He crawled under the covers. I smiled as I sniffed his just-out-of-the-shower scent. I tangled my legs around his. "You're warm."

He mumbled as he kissed my neck.

Exhausted from our clubbing adventure, a part of me just wanted to go to sleep. Yet, I felt my body responding to his lips and warm hands. I peeked towards the curtains. It was still dark, but I could tell that dawn would soon approach.

As I grabbed his cock, he helped me out of my pajama bottoms. Tired or not, I wanted to come just as much as he did. We could sleep afterwards.

I told him that a quickie was enough, but he wanted to make it last. He's all about pleasing me. I'm a lucky girl.

We're lucky that we have similar sex drives. Very lucky. Dawn sex is just as good as morning sex, nooner, afternoon sex, and evening sex.

good, bad, naughty, what?

Recently a male acquaintance asked me: "Are you a good girl?"

We weren't talking about sex, but the question had potential for a sexual undercurrent. I had to really think about my answer. Do I think of myself as a good girl? I feel like I'm too nice to be a "bad girl," but I'm too adventurous to be a "good girl." Finally I told him: "I'm a nice girl, but I don't know if I'm a good girl."

It made me think of how people define "good girl" vs. "bad girl." When I think good girl, I think of someone who's pure, a bit naive, mostly innocent...maybe conservative in bed with a prudish side. When I think of a "bad girl," I see a vixen with a cigarette in one hand and a shot glass in the other. A bit of a wild streak and a definite edge to her.

In that context, I had to think about how people view me. On the surface, I look like a good girl. Guys tell me that all the time. I think it's my "look." It's the trendy glasses, the fact that I'm usually in a t-shirt and jeans, maybe my laid-back attitude. When some guys get to know me better, they are convinced that I'm a "bad girl." Maybe it's the sarcastic streak, my wild side, my tendency to be sexually adventurous.

Yes, I love sex. Does that automatically put me into "bad girl" category? Is it okay for a "good girl" to get raunchy and nasty between the sheets? Can you be a little bit of both?

I guess I'm both. I'm a good girl with bad girl tendencies. Or maybe it's the other way around. as I told my friend, I'm just complicated. Maybe someone like me defies categories.

talk to me

A while back I mentioned that I'm not too comfortable with talking dirty in the bedroom. I loooove hearing it, but sometimes I get tongue-tied. The words don't sound right coming out of my mouth. Well, in recent weeks, I've been making more of an effort. It helps that my partner thinks I have a sexy voice.

I've always thought my voice was okay. It's not too high and not too deep. I've always wanted a sexy/husky voice aka the lounge singer voice. I don't smoke and drink enough to achieve that effect. But I digress...

So I've been testing the waters and trying out different phrases. I've discovered that it doesn't matter *what* I say. It's more about *how* I say it. When I'm turned on and wanting more, I can just say: That feels good or I like that. Simple phrases like that will get me going. The other night I yelled out "fuck me" over and over again, and it drove him crazy.

For now, it's just the small steps. I'm learning how to enjoy this. Dirty talk isn't so intimidating after all.

When I'm on top

While browsing the Sex-kitten Feed, I saw a post titled "5 ways to get her on top." The article suggests tips for getting your woman to be comfortable while she is in the woman-on-top position. Rose is right to say that some women feel self-conscious or shy while in that position.

I used to be one of those women. When I was younger, I was really self-conscious of my body. I still have some esteem issues, but back then I was more insecure. I used to wonder if the view was okay...if he enjoyed watching my body...if my boobs were flopping too much...if my stomach was flat enough. I couldn't come from that position because of all these thoughts running through my mind.

Gradually I learned one important fact: being on top feels GREAT! I can control the speed and the tempo. I'm in charge of how quickly (or slowly) I can get off. I can watch his face as I vary the strokes. I love watching a man's eyes roll in the back of his head. I also learned that guys love the view of a woman on top. I don't have to have a perfect body. He doesn't give a damn about a few pounds either way. Sometimes the guy will study my body; sometimes he will close his eyes to enjoy the sensations. I just let go of all the inhibitions and ride with abandon.

Why should I be self-conscious of my body when we're both enjoying ourselves so much? Over time I learned how to let go of the body image issues when I'm riding my man. It feels too good to worry about insignificant stuff.

My current partner loves when I'm on top. He doesn't have to coax or convince me to ride him. When he's ready for me, I just climb right on. It's a turn on for both of us. I enjoy other positions but being on top is my favorite way to start off. I love leaning forward so I can kiss him while fucking him. I love leaning back so I can feel him at a different angle. I love using my legs to bounce on him until he's writhing on the pillows. The possibilities are endless with this particular position. After I come once, then we can switch to a different position. ;)